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2012-12-12, 19:59


Within each of us there are images we dare not confront, fears and yearnings beyond concepts we can openly admit to being part of who and what we are. The edicts of society keep us from freeing ourselves from such constraints; to truly live our lives without boundaries of any kind.

With the moral standards of our forefathers still coloring our behavioral patterns, many of us don't have the courage to live or love beyond our own self-imposed limitations. As we mature, we convince ourselves that love, in the truest sense of the word, is merely an illusion--something we read of once, in a book, or saw on a movie screen.

Is that depth of longing merely a dream? Is it? Or does thinking it is keep us within the narrow confines of our own ‘safe places’? What we don't believe exists, we don't have to search for, do we? What we haven’t allowed ourselves to feel, cannot be missed.

Have you let your dreams of true passion wither and die, or do they still glisten like tiny points of hope just at the edge of your consciousness? In a special place within you, do you wish you could reach out and touch those emotions with all that you are--with your soul?

In my heart, faith exists that somewhere out there, there is such a thing as perfect love, one that knows no boundaries. Oh, there has to be. Do such dreams still live within you, too? They exist within Catherine, and although in this story he isn't aware of it as yet, the dream of loving with all that he is also exists within Vincent.

In that intuitive place inside each of us that we give the name ‘soul or 'heart’, there are images, expectations, that encompass what many would consider to be the darker side of physical nearness. Fearing to divulge our own passions, even to ourselves, we negate those needs, which in turn paralyzes us emotionally, as well as physically, into what is deemed by society to be ‘acceptable behavior’; into what is considered to be ‘the norm’.  The unexplored part of our own sexuality feeds on our fear, thrives on it, until it becomes an intrinsic part of who we are, or what life has led us to believe we are.

Although Vincent has learned to exist within his own limitations, as he perceives them, Catherine hasn't--not quite. For the wondrous and oh, so vulnerable being she loves, as well as for herself, she wants a full and complete life, with all that that phrase implies. She especially wants those freedoms that we take for granted, for Vincent. She wants him to realize what it would be like to seize his freedom as the individual that he is; to capture life by the throat and wrest whatever joy he can from it. Vincent deserves that, doesn't he?

By keeping within certain boundaries as far as loving her, Vincent has rejected the side of himself that he cannot trust, and in doing that, is certain that he has found his own ‘safe place’. Has he, or can there be a more ideal existence for him, if he had the courage to reach out and take it for himself, and for Catherine? Does this extraordinary man have the courage to follow wherever she would lead him, down ALL of the paths that comprise a unified and joyous life? Is it possible for the woman he loves to guide him beyond his foreboding, towards a truth, a place, he'd never have dreamt of going before knowing her? Is his destiny truly in Catherine's keeping?

Using her strength as his citadel against his own inhibitions, could he fling wide the doors only she could unlock for him and explore his own sexuality freely, with no inhibitions? If he can, he'll discover what Catherine has known all along--to her, he is and has always been a man; a different and uniquely beautiful human being.

If anyone can bring this depth of serenity to him, or guide him toward a reconciliation with what he considers to be the ‘baser’ side of his nature, it would have to be Catherine, because for Vincent she is, and will always be--The One.

            ‘I saw you dancing out the ocean, running fast along 
         the sand, a spirit born of earth and water, fire flying 
         from your hands. 
           In the instant that you love someone, in the second 
         that the hammer hits, reality runs down your spine, and 
         the pieces finally fit. 
           And all I ever needed was the One, like freedom feels 
         where wild horses run. When stars collide, like you and 
         I, no shadows block the sun. You're all I've ever needed, 
         baby you're the one. 
           There are caravans we follow, drunken nights in dark 
         hotels; when chances breathe between the silence, where 
         sex and love no longer gel. For each man in his time is 
         Cain, until he walks along the beach, and sees his future in 
         the water--a lost heart within his reach. And all I've 
         ever wanted was...’

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